'New & abused' Unitard bring snarky humor to Dixon Place

It's a shame we haven't yet evolved to a point where we could use the equivalent of a Bat Phone when confronted with yet another annoying facet of urban life.

Caught in a long line right behind a pretentious Brooklynite cooing over the hideous spawn lurking inside an upscale stroller? Just make a call-and before you know it, the Unitard crew would arrive to humble them with a devastatingly perceptive monologue or sketch.

Until that day arrives, you'll just have to make due with Unitard's upcoming gig at Dixon Place. Like our ever-changing, endlessly annoying world, it's a work in progress. You won't mind, though-since Mike Albo, Nora Burns and David Ilku? don't suit up as Unitard nearly as often as our troubled culture merits. At least they're not resting on their legacy (Ilku is half of The Dueling Bankheads; Burns is a founding member of the Nellie Olesons; and Albo's books include "Hornito: My Lie Life").

Through the modern miracle of email, EDGE recently posed a few questions to the trio...and found that beneath the snark, there's a molten core of basic decency employed to serve the high cause of laughing at all that's evil and absurd.

Drawn to underdogs

EDGE: How does your monologue work differ from the sketch material? Will the monologues feature any characters or scenarios from past Unitard performances?

David Ilku: Personally, I am drawn towards underdog type characters for my monologue choices. I enjoy giving them a voice that they normally would not have. When one of us comes up with the seed of an idea, that person usually sets the tone of the piece and then the other two fall in line. And yes, there will be some from the past that have new things to say.

Nora Burns: Even though I was from a sketch background, we're all solo-based and our sketches have slowly evolved from basically us all standing on stage doing a three-person monologue to us actually talking to each other occasionally. When we come up with a theme for a group piece, we usually each write our own parts. But we have a few group pieces in the show that were entirely written by each of us, which is nice. I like that we finally trust each other enough (after 10 years) to write for one another.

As for material, I'll usually do something about hideous parents (I have a "mom"ologue and gay parent thing in this show), and I'm bringing back my junkie character, because I love junkies. I saw a pregnant junkie nodding out the other day and was like "Awww," cause you never see that stuff anymore in NYC and I think that's the stuff that should be landmarked.

Mike Albo: I think at this point we have figured out how to write sketches that are pure comedy...and Unitard for me is all about comedy in like a 100% grain alcohol form...whereas my monologue and other work outside of Unitard may have more ups and downs in terms of emotional content.

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Watch this Unitard parody "Mark Jacobs Wah Boys":

Ceaselessly annoyed

EDGE: What current or emerging trends are crying out for satire, and how has that landscape differed from the first Unitard performance?

David Ilku: I think the human disconnect is so strong and troubling right now. There are at least five different ways people are getting in touch with each other and the last option seems to be simply speaking on the telephone. When we first started, we mostly had individual pieces and just had bookend group pieces. Now we actually enjoy writing and performing more group pieces than not.

Nora Burns: By the time something's deemed an "emerging trend" it's probably too late to make fun of. But we're ceaselessly annoyed with lots of things. Right now, it's probably: Artisnal Cheese, self-involved 20-Somethings, gay dads, the British and, as always, Republicans. I miss being able to make fun of 9/11 (one of our first shows was on 9/20 or something) and of course, even if we don't have Bush, the GOP is as heinous and despicable as ever, so the fun never ends.

Mike Albo: It's weird some things haven't changed...like our materialist consumer culture, our obsession with children, hideous celebrities, corrupt politicians, ignorant citizens who vote for candidates based on their own selfish desires. But finding the humor in it can be tougher now because the issues are more complicated...Some new things are the fact that gays are more and more mainstream ...or rather, we have our own cultural pressure to act a certain way may be a better way to say it.

Unitard... voice of the people

EDGE: The October 20 show is part of Dixon Place's Works in Progress series. How will the performance differ from your most recent stage appearances? What is the ultimate project to emerge from this version? How would it look if you were given an unlimited budget and resources?

David Ilku: I don't know how it will differ. I tell you one thing, it would be nice to have a manager, a proper dressing room and a toilet that works. With an unlimited budget, we would by our way onto mainstream television and rip away the facade of politics, celebrity and corporate America. We, Unitard, are the voice of the people and are making this show affordable for some much needed laughter in this insane time we live in.

Nora Burns: A lot of this show we did at Joe's Pub, but we've worked on it since then and changed/added/removed stuff and we're finally working with a director, so looking forward to the show having some fluidity for a change. If we had an unlimited budget it would probably look very much the same, but we'd be able to pay our rent.

Mike Albo: In the perfect world, we would have some fatcat producer who comes along and says "Hey, lets give these guys a nice run somewhere." But since we make fun of fatcats, they usually avoid us. We love Dixon Place, and we like spaces where people feel comfortable, where they can drink and where things are a little less slick, and more honest.

EDGE: Which Republican presidential candidate or hopeful will Unitard be endorsing, and why?

David Ilku: We will be endorsing Herman Caine, because he can sell a pizza back to an Italian while using a stereotype like "Godfather" and get away with it.

Nora Burns: Why limit it, they all have such kind, intelligent, caring, generous traits, I can't pick just one.
Mike Albo: Well, if we do get a clear Republican candidate, I hope it's someone completely insane like Bachman or Santorum so their constituency is forced to show its true colors, which are mostly shades of white...But I am really into Cain saying that the Occupy Wall Street protesters are "jealous" of capitalism...wow.

Unitard, New and Abused will be performed for one show only, on Thurs., Oct. 20, 7:30pm at Dixon Place (161A Chrystie St., btw. Rivington & Delancey). Admission is $9.99, cash only at the door. For info, visit dixonplace.org.

Watch this Unitard parody of "The View":